reader beware: this is the blog that doesn't end...

It was so great to be back in Mississippi, seeing friends who reminded me what it's like to have people WANT you around. People who couldn't get enough of me, nor I of them. I was reunited with 3 friends this past weekend who single-handedly (triple-handedly...?) reminded me that I am important.

Things around home haven't been awesome lately. I don't have much reason to complain, so I try not to, but it's hard not to remember how much better last summer was, compared to this year. In the summer of 2008--one of the best, ever--all of my friends were always hanging out together. Whether we were just hanging out at someone's house or out at our favorite bar, we were all pretty much together for most of the summer. I guess that tradition spoiled me, because this year, it couldn't be any more different. With a couple exceptions, it seems that most everyone has gone off and formed all these "side groups" while the big group gets together... almost never. It really seems unfortunate that it has turned out that way; even more so since I don't seem to belong to any of the "side groups" that, put together, used to make up my entire group of friends.

So this trip back home to MS was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. Never before have I needed so much reminding that true friends do exist. This weekend, I found a few of them.

Skye: Skye and I have been friends for--literally--my entire life. Going on 23 years now, she was there with me through my best and worst times growing up, and although we have drifted in and out of each other's lives now and then, we're back together for good. In the last 8 years since I moved here, I've been able to see her semi-regularly, about once a year, sometimes twice. Myspace and FB have given us convenient communication options that fit well into our otherwise busy lives. This weekend, I saw her 3 out of the 3 days I was there, and it was wonderful.

Jonathan: This was the most exciting reminder for me this weekend. Johnny and I were friends in the 8th and 9th grades, but halfway through 9th, I moved here and shortly after that, he moved away, too. Though we weren't the closest of friends when we both moved away, we did a pretty good job of staying in touch. For a couple of years after our moves, I saw him twice, I think. We kept in touch via e-mail, and then later, Myspace. Before this trip, something like 4 or 5 years had passed since I'd even heard from him. I later came to the realization that it had been 6 years since the last time I actually saw him.

I was lucky enough to be able to spend some time with him for 2 of the 3 days I was there and I was more than excited to see him; however, for whatever reason, I found myself really nervous when I was around him, and for the most of the time I spent with him, I was so quiet, shy, and really reserved. I know I'm normally kind of a quiet person anyway, but it was like I had never met him before. I was nervous every time I opened my mouth. He even commented that I seemed like I was upset about something. And I had to agree with him...something was different about the way I acted, and I still can't put my finger on it. All I can guess is that I was so excited to see him after so long, my nerves got the better of me, and it took the entire trip before I recovered. I feel like I squandered the first chance I've had to see him in YEARS. I wish I could see him again, sooner rather than later; I certainly did not make the impression I wanted to.

I must not have made an awful impression, because during one of conversations, I mentioned that I've always wanted to go to Chicago but can never find any friends to go with me. He jumped in about how he wants to go there too, and although the when is uncertain, he sounded excited about saying hopefully we'll be able to go. So yay, for that!

I don't want to be misunderstood-- It was amazing to see him again and I'm still reeling from it; I just can't help feeling like I was a Grade A idiot in front of one of my long-lost best friends and I didn't make the most of what little time we had.

There's one more friend, but seeing as how this is unreasonably long already, I'd better call it a night. If you made it this far, you're a trooper--thanks!